How (not) to manage a sports club – 17 Ways to Ruin It
This post is for sports club owners, boards, supervisory councils, and the (extra)ordinary fan who often only sees what happens on the field and doesn’t know—because they don’t have to—what managing a sports club really involves.
It will be straightforward, sarcastic, blunt, and… sometimes painfully true. And before the critics and conspiracy theorists start chiming in—this is not an exhaustive catalog of mistakes made in Polish sports management. Treat it as an open list, draw your own conclusions, and add your own observations. After all, it’s all for the good of Polish sports clubs.
So, if you are a sports club owner, president, or a member of the supervisory board, then…
Don’t keep your word to players, staff, or the coach
Got someone on board who believes you’ll keep your promises? Time to disappoint them! Pay players late, promise reinforcements to the coach, then bring in someone from the eighth division. After all, sports teach life lessons—and life is brutal. This will be a lesson they won’t forget! And don’t worry about your reputation; word won’t spread in the sports community. And even if it does, people forget fast, and business goes on as usual.
Don’t be fair to agents of footballers, rowers, boxers, speedway riders, volleyball players, basketball players, or karate athletes
Be the ultimate trickster in your discipline. Deceive and outsmart every agent and their athletes. Treat them like naive tourists in a crowded marketplace. Agree on one thing, put another in the contract, promise a deal, then back out last minute, leaving the player stranded. Before signing, tweak contract clauses to favor you, hoping the other party doesn’t re-read it. If they don’t—tough luck! And if no one wants to work with you in the future? Who cares! Worst case, you’ll hire your uncle’s cousin, who “knows football.”
Don’t use tools like budget planning, cash flow forecasting, or financial and operational indicators
Budgets? Forecasts? Metrics? Excel is for losers. Numbers are for accountants, not visionaries like you! Spend money as it comes in—especially when someone suggests, “Let’s get a new winger from Brazil.” And if the money runs out, you can always complain that “the city isn’t helping” or “the sponsor was supposed to pay but didn’t.”
Don’t map out club processes
Process mapping? In sports? Are you really considering analyzing who does what in your club? Why bother? Chaos in administration is a hallmark of many Polish sports organizations. Everyone does everything, and no one does anything—it’s the perfect recipe for a heated atmosphere! Efficiency doesn’t matter, and having too many employees in admin who could’ve been replaced by automation won’t affect your finances… right? And sure, money gets wasted on unnecessary positions, but hey, you can always squeeze more funds from the city or a state-owned company.
And, of course, the way the club operates behind the scenes has absolutely no impact on sports results!
Don’t measure marketing effectiveness, keep staffing costs under 65-70% of the budget, or maintain a 10% financial buffer
Who in their right mind wants to check if your ads are effective? How embarrassing! As long as the club logo is on a banner, that’s all that matters. Marketing isn’t an investment—it’s an expense. Fans will show up regardless, and sponsors will pay because where else would they enjoy themselves if not in a skybox with free-flowing drinks?
As for salaries? Pay everyone whatever they want! Want to keep your top players? Spare no expense—after all, the club budget is an endless pit. Admin staff? They can wait for their paychecks—surely, they work out of passion! Why budget for anything else when you can funnel everything into “stars”? And as for an emergency fund? That’s for the weak. If problems arise, just make empty promises, pressure the mayor for funds, or use the media to guilt-trip officials into financing “entertainment for the locals”—especially if elections are around the corner.
Don’t be transparent with sponsors
The best approach? Sign asymmetric sponsorship deals where a particular sponsor—who happens to be a friend of a club president, local politician, or state-owned company exec—gets advertising worth millions while paying mere pennies. And the rest of the sponsors? They’ll never know they’re overpaying!
Don’t build a diversified sponsorship pyramid
Why bother creating a structured sponsorship model when you can rely on a single big sponsor? Go all in on one—preferably a state-owned company. If they pull out, just cry in the media about how “local sports are underfunded.” Diversification is for those afraid of risk. You? You’re a born gambler and a winner!
Don’t think about creative ways to finance the club
Creativity in finances? Why? A sports club isn’t a startup—it’s an ancient business model. Take money from the city, maybe snag a sponsor, sell some tickets—and voilà, budget done! Why change a thing? “It’s always been like this,” and it still works!
Organizing exhibition tournaments? Renting facilities for events? Crowdfunding? Come on, who has time for that? That would require thinking, planning, and—ugh—actual work! And as the club president, you have more pressing matters, like choosing your next suit color for a press conference.
E-sports? Fan tokens? Your own VC fund? Sounds like internet mumbo-jumbo. Better stick to tried-and-true methods—like selling team calendars. Fans will buy them because, well, what else will they do? Other clubs may be innovating, but let them. Your club values tradition!
Grants and subsidies? Sure, a nice option, but why bother? The forms are complicated, and the requirements are high. Plus, if you had to explain where the money went, it would ruin all the fun. No one likes accountability!
And crowdfunding? Imagine begging fans for money—how pathetic! Fans are meant to cheer, not fundraise. Even if you convinced them, would you really want to explain why you raised 50,000, but somehow 40,000 “disappeared” under “administrative costs”?
And finally—who thinks about long-term financial strategy? As long as you scrape together the same revenue each year, everything else will “fall into place.” And if there’s a budget shortfall, just say, “It’s a tough year for the sports industry.” No one will realize it’s only tough for you…
Creativity in financing is generally a waste of time. If fans want a better club, they should simply buy more tickets and jerseys. And you? You’d better stick to what you know—holding out your hand for another municipal subsidy. After all, that’s what you’re really good at!
Don’t Care About the Club’s Administrative Staff, Don’t Appreciate Them, and Assume the Club Would Succeed Without Them
Administrative staff? Seriously? They’re just the people handling paperwork, making coffee, and ordering toilet paper for the office. Have they ever scored a goal? Do they stand in goal, saving the team in the last seconds of a match? No. So why bother appreciating them?
Besides, everyone knows that administrative work is 100% unnecessary—clubs practically run themselves, invoices magically pay themselves, and licenses and permits get approved through divine intervention.
Raises? Oh no, no way. If anything, toss them a coupon for a 10% discount at the local fast-food joint—just so they know their contribution to the club’s success is somewhat acknowledged. Even better, remind them that working in a sports club is an honor, and they should be paying you for the privilege of filling out Excel spreadsheets in such a prestigious organization.
Team integration? A pointless luxury. The admin team should bond on their own—preferably while waiting in line for their paycheck.
Training sessions? Hilarious! Let them watch free tutorials on YouTube—anyone can become a marketing, accounting, and sports management expert in five minutes.
And if these “unappreciated” employees dare to quit? Fantastic! You’ll replace them with someone younger, cheaper, and with lower self-esteem. Why would you need someone who understands the club’s specifics, its needs, and how to manage its infrastructure? Such competence would only overwhelm you. It’s better to have people on your team who look at you with fear, knowing they could lose their job at any moment.
And remember—if you absolutely must thank your employees for their hard work, do it in the most ambiguous way possible. Maybe send out a cryptic email: “Thanks for the last quarter. Looking forward to more.” Done. Let them know that every day at work is a test of their endurance and loyalty to you. After all, they didn’t hire you—you’re their boss. And if they complain too much, remind them that they work in sports, so they should love their job, not be appreciated for it.
In general, treat administration like wallpaper—it’s there, it does something, but who cares? The walls stand on their own, right?
Don’t Be Patient with the Coaching Staff
And whatever you do, fire the coach after three consecutive losses. The guy is clearly raking in cash for nothing and, on top of that, isn’t implementing the club’s long-term strategy—which, by pure coincidence, even the club president doesn’t know because he’s too busy creatively draining the club’s budget through shady contracts and fake invoices.
But despite all this, don’t forget to tell the coach which lineup to use for the next match. And if the team is struggling on the field, barge into the locker room at halftime, throw around some profanities, and expect that instead of pitying you, the players will suddenly start respecting you.
Don’t Prepare a Long-Term Club Development Strategy
Especially if you’re a puppet president, put in place through political connections or funded mainly by city money or state-owned companies. After all, you never know the “day or the hour” when you’ll be fired. And you definitely won’t be laying the groundwork for your successors—only for them to take credit for your hard work. Especially if they belong to the opposing political camp! Disgusting! Never in your life!
Don’t Invest in Youth Development
Let the kids figure things out on their own, or let their lazy parents take care of them. As a sports club embedded in a local community, you have no responsibilities toward it whatsoever. Especially if not enough people attend matches or buy club merchandise. Because poor sales are, obviously, their fault.
Don’t Organize Fair and Transparent Recruitment Processes for Club Management (If the Club Is City-Owned)
Transparency? Integrity? Are you trying to destroy the beautiful tradition of backroom deals and cronyism?! Management recruitment processes are just a formality—everyone knows that the best candidate is always a friend of a friend who “knows something about football.” After all, what could be more valuable for a club president than a deep love for the sport, preferably backed by solid political connections?
Why waste time on open applications when you can just call “your people” and decide who gets the job? Lack of qualifications? Who cares! Running a club isn’t rocket science. And if things go south, you can always blame your predecessor or the “financial situation inherited” from them.
However, rigging the recruitment process requires finesse! For example, to make things look legit, put absurd requirements in the job posting—something like: “Minimum 20 years of experience managing an international curling team” and “fluent knowledge of Kashubian dialect.”
Perfect criteria! And your preselected candidate can always “adjust” their CV accordingly.
But what if some outsider dares to apply? Don’t panic! The selection committee is your weapon. Just stack it with your people and make sure they ask tricky, useless questions like: “Exactly how much does a junior handball weigh?”.
Anyone who doesn’t know? Disqualified. Your chosen candidate, of course, had the question list in advance.
And if people start complaining about the lack of transparency, just throw out some classic excuses:”The club management role requires a unique level of trust.”, “We chose the candidate who best understands the local context.”, “It was a tough decision, but we acted in the club’s best interest.”
Because who would dare question the “club’s best interest”?!
Fair recruitment is for suckers. A true professional knows that running a sports club is a game where connections matter more than CVs. Let your people know that in this game, the “right guy” always wins. After all, club success doesn’t depend on competence—it depends on who sits in the VIP lounge!
Always Keep at Least 50 VIP Tickets for Your Friends and Their Friends
Why sell them or invite potential new, important, strategic sponsors to encourage club support?
VIP tickets are your holy grail! Someone said they’re meant for sponsors, local authorities, or people who actually support the club? What nonsense! They are your magic passes to the world of deals, favors, and backroom handshakes with people who can “pull some strings.”
Selling these tickets? Ridiculous. Money is one thing, but connections—that’s the real currency.
Your uncle’s cousin who once lent you 50 bucks for gas? Front-row ticket! Your gym buddies who barely know you run a club? VIP package with catering—because networking is key. The acquaintance of your acquaintance who “might help you with a grant application”? Presidential box, so she feels appreciated.
Fans? Let them buy regular seats—that’s where the real atmosphere is anyway. And if people start talking about empty VIP seats, just say: “This is an intentional limitation to increase exclusivity.”
Don’t forget to keep a few extra tickets “just in case”—you never know when a political friend might need last-minute access for an “important person.” Because, dear president, VIP tickets are your ultimate tool of power. Distribute them generously, randomly, and without any strategy—because you’re in charge, and who’s going to stop you?
Don’t Skimp on Commissions for Yourself When Securing Sponsors
It’s obvious—no one will bring in sponsors as well as you! Some might say that, as the club president, securing sponsors is simply your duty. Pff! Those people don’t understand that your negotiation skills are pure gold, and gold has a price. You’re like a football agent, only even more important—because without you, this club wouldn’t see a single penny. That’s why your commission isn’t some “extra perk” but a rightful tribute to your genius.
Fans shouldn’t be surprised if you take 10% or even 20% of every million from a sponsor—success deserves a reward! You told the sponsor that “together, you’re building the club’s future,” but in reality, you’re building the future of your new car. Because if not you, then who? The club gets money, the sponsor gets advertising, and you? You get your “well-earned” compensation—for the effort, the stress, and the sacrifice of signing those contracts.
Of course, it’s best if the sponsor is a friend—that way, you can split the cake in an atmosphere of mutual trust. It doesn’t matter if the deal is “slightly” one-sided and the sponsor gets five times the advertising value of what they paid. The club will “manage somehow,” and your bank account will smile. After all, you worked hard for this: business lunches, dinners, a little vacation on the club’s dime—all part of the “negotiation process.”
Is someone starting to get suspicious? Maybe thinking that your commission is a bit too high? No worries, good excuses always work! Say that “this deal wouldn’t have happened without you,” that the sponsor “is very demanding,” and that you “had to invest a lot of time to convince them.” If someone keeps complaining, remind them that other clubs are even worse. They should be grateful that anyone is paying at all.
And if the club is barely staying afloat financially? That’s not your problem! Commissions are your sacred right, and managing the budget is the accountant’s job. After all, someone has to pay for your daily dedication to this “treasure of the local community,” right?
Remember, your commission is the reward for your “visionary approach” to sponsors. And if the club collapses? Well, at least you’ll walk away with a new watch, a nice suit, and the satisfaction of knowing that you did everything to secure… yourself.
Enjoy Luxuries on Club-Funded Trips
Don’t hold back when traveling for tournaments, away games, or other sporting events.
Whether you’re the president, vice president, supervisory board member, or a local politician tied to the city that owns the club, you deserve the most expensive hotels and restaurants. After all, the club’s finances—especially when funded by city money or state-owned companies—are a bottomless well. There’s no need to monitor costs.
Don’t Worry About Your Public Image
Because really, does it even matter if the club president falls out of the team bus drunk after an away game? As long as you don’t break anything! After all, a group of ladies of questionable morals is already waiting for you at the hotel—you’ve got to stay in shape! If not you, then who? That scrawny accountant?! No way!
If You Don’t Care About the Club, Do Exactly This…
Club owners, supervisory boards, presidents, board members—if you don’t care about the club’s future, if the only thing that matters is your personal gain—financial, business, PR, or political—and you couldn’t care less about the club’s long-term reputation and development, treating its colors as nothing more than a random mix of pigments slapped together, then just follow the steps above.
But if the club’s colors actually mean something to you, if you genuinely care about its future, then DO THE EXACT OPPOSITE. That’s the only way to achieve long-term success—however you define it.
Check out how to ensure stable finances for sports clubs here.
And You, Dear Fan… Now armed with a different perspective, keep giving your all. Lose your voice cheering, travel for your team, buy merchandise, and support your club in any way you can. Because what else is left when you’re a true fan and simply can’t do otherwise? You don’t even want to. Despite everything!
Just don’t be surprised that parts of Polish sports are rotten. Because sports rarely attract ordinary people—it’s usually one of two extremes: either die-hard loyalists who would do anything for the club or complete scumbags and parasites who see sports only as a springboard to secure their own cozy little nest. Not always honestly.
Read more about sports club finances on our blog in Practice.
